What are the odds???

Apparently I am "that person." You know the one that is the .000000001% chance of it happening to you. But, unfortunately, it never is something that I am wanting to happen. For example being late for work due to side effect of drug.

Last night my back was hurting very badly to the point I almost could not walk. So I took some drugs. Skelaxin to be exact. This morning BWR woke me up at 8:30a.m. I was... how do you put it?... "OUT OF IT!" I did not know what day of the week it was. So when I finally made it to work I looked up Skelaxin on the Internet. Here is what the Dr had to say at http://www.skelaxin.com/:

There are benefits to taking SKELAXIN®, such as:
1. Prompt relief—it begins working in your body within 1 hour of taking it
2. Improved range of motion and no interference with posture and balance
3. Minimal sedation with only a small chance of feeling groggy, woozy, or extremely sleepy
4. No adverse cardiovascular effects
5. No withdrawal symptoms or risk of dependence, since it is not habit forming

Here is what I would have wrote:
1. Prompt relief--out like a light in about 15 minutes of swallowing
2. No interference with posture and balance--because one will not require those fundamental needs to support one's body because one will assume the dead position
3. Minimal sedation with only a small chance of feeling groggy, woozy, or extremely sleepy. If the small chance does occur, then a comatose state will exist.
4. No adverse cardiovascular effect--the heart and lungs will be the only normal functioning organs
5. Not habit forming because once someone wakes you up, you argue with them about what day of the week it is, and then you lose that argument-you will not want to take it again.